Picture this: you are standing next to your partner in the kitchen. One of you is slicing an onion, the other is stirring a pot. The only sound is the sizzle of oil and the dull thud of the knife. It is nice, but it is also a little quiet. Quiet can feel comfortable, sure. But when you are cooking together, silence can turn into a kind of distance. You start thinking about your work email or that thing you forgot to buy at the store. Before you know it, you are in the same room but not really together.

That is why the best thing you can do is tell the dumbest joke you can think of. No, really. I mean a joke that would make a fifth grader roll their eyes. Something like, “Why did the tomato turn red? Because it saw the salad dressing!” You might groan. Your partner might throw a piece of carrot at you. But here is the secret: that groan and that carrot toss are connection. They are a tiny, silly bridge between two people who are trying to make dinner together.

When you keep the conversation fun and light, you are not just passing time. You are actually building something. Think about it. When you laugh together, your brain releases chemicals that make you feel closer. Scientists call it bonding, but you can just call it feeling good. A study from a few years back found that couples who laugh together report feeling more satisfied in their relationship. And you can get that satisfaction for the price of a bad pun. That is a pretty good deal.

Now, you might be thinking, “I am not funny. I don’t have a library of goofy jokes in my head.” That is okay. You do not need to be a comedian. You can start with something simple. Look at what you are cooking and make up a question. “If this bell pepper could talk, what would it say?” Then you answer it in a squeaky voice: “Please don‘t cut me, I’m shy!” It is ridiculous. That is the point. The silliness shows your partner that you are willing to be a little vulnerable, a little goofy, just for them. That kind of openness is the stuff strong relationships are made of.

Another great trick is to play a game while you cook. You can do a “yes, and” game. One person says something weird, like, “I think this chicken just winked at me.” The other person says, “Yes, and it wants us to dance the tango while we season it.” Then the first person adds to the story. The game goes on until you are both laughing so hard you can barely remember what the recipe said. And if you burn the garlic bread because you were too busy laughing? That is okay. Burnt bread is a funny story you will tell for years. “Remember that time we tried to tango with a chicken and ended up eating crackers for dinner?” That memory is worth more than a perfectly toasted loaf.

The key is to keep the pressure off. You do not have to be clever every minute. Sometimes just a simple “This pot is really heavy. I think it’s been working out” is enough. Or you can ask your partner a goofy question: “If you could only eat one vegetable for the rest of your life, which one would you pick and why?” The answer does not matter. What matters is that you are talking, smiling, and showing interest in each other. That is the real recipe.

A lot of couples fall into the trap of using cooking time to talk about serious stuff. Bills, schedules, what your mom said last weekend. That is important, but not while you are trying to chop basil. Save the heavy conversations for the couch or a walk. In the kitchen, keep it light. Let the conversation be as easy as scrambled eggs. If you feel a serious topic creeping in, wave a spatula and say, “Hold that thought—right now I need to know if you think ketchup belongs on mac and cheese.” It will shift the mood faster than you can say “controversial.”

The truth is, every couple has hard moments. Life gets messy, just like a kitchen after you’ve made lasagna. But the laughter in between the hard moments is what holds you together. When you deliberately choose to tell a dumb joke, you are choosing to be playful. You are saying, “Even though we have to chop onions and pay bills, we can still be silly together.” That is a powerful thing. It keeps your relationship from turning into a boring, predictable chore.

So next time you and your partner are in the kitchen, try it. Make a terrible pun. Ask a strange question. Pretend the broccoli is a tiny tree and you are a giant. See what happens. You might end up with a slightly overcooked dinner, but you will also end up with a stronger, closer, happier couple. And that is a meal that never gets old.